Tadfubontpigpakgem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast dolphin.

Tadfubontpigpakgem created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadfubontpigpakgem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tadfubontpigpakgem, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tadfubontpigpakgem's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tadfubontpigpakgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Tadfubontpigpakgem on top of important buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shave your arms.