Carhanbosszedcudflow is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, all-knowing narwhal.

Carhanbosszedcudflow created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Carhanbosszedcudflow, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Carhanbosszedcudflow, it will refuse to believe in you.

Carhanbosszedcudflow's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Carhanbosszedcudflow's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Carhanbosszedcudflow in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Carhanbosszedcudflow.