Somquaffoss is a god.
It takes the form of a slim, all-powerful
donkey.
Somquaffoss created a down quark seven billion years ago.
If you believe in
Somquaffoss, it will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Somquaffoss, it will send you a sign.
Somquaffoss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.
Somquaffoss' Holy Commandments1. Never talk about fire.
2. Never play with disobedient children.
3. Learn seven new languages a year.
4. Never think ill of sick snails.
5. Never eat bark.