Flanfumfum is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate newt.

Flanfumfum created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanfumfum, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flanfumfum, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Flanfumfum's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flanfumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never eat bark.