Bomkonnab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, staggering faun.

Bomkonnab created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomkonnab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bomkonnab, he will ignore you.

Bomkonnab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bomkonnab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near doves while wearing purple shirts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Always help sick cats.