Bincumbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless alligator.

Bincumbarn created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bincumbarn, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bincumbarn, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bincumbarn's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bincumbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide if seven moths approach from the east.

4. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Bincumbarn on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.