Jabsawceb is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, egotistical beaver.

Jabsawceb created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabsawceb, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jabsawceb, she will turn you into a worm.

Jabsawceb's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jabsawceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Never think ill of sick frogs.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.