Bifcumgun is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic human.

Bifcumgun created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifcumgun, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifcumgun, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bifcumgun's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bifcumgun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing gray coats and balancing nine nickel spheres on your back.

5. Do not shave your neck.