Hakfen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, capable goblin.

Hakfen created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Hakfen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakfen, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hakfen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hakfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look after injured moths.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hakfen on top of all buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about optics near doves while wearing pink shirts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.