Wabgutgat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome hydra.

Wabgutgat created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabgutgat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wabgutgat, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Wabgutgat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wabgutgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Wabgutgat in the centre of the settlement.

3. Wabgutgat loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Wabgutgat.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.