Logdosshen Lagcadtad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust narwhal.

Logdosshen Lagcadtad created the Sol system five million years ago.

If you believe in Logdosshen Lagcadtad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Logdosshen Lagcadtad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Logdosshen Lagcadtad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Logdosshen Lagcadtad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine sharks approach from the west.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Never feed cherries to rats while wearing rings.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.