Yarphunpib is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured hydra.

Yarphunpib created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarphunpib, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarphunpib, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yarphunpib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yarphunpib's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never leap in holy places.