Barnkipced is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic capybara.

Barnkipced created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnkipced, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Barnkipced, it will remove you from existence.

Barnkipced's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Barnkipced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Barnkipced in the centre of the settlement.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Barnkipced.