Gutparkhim is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless beaver.

Gutparkhim created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutparkhim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gutparkhim, it will laugh at you.

Gutparkhim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gutparkhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Gutparkhim loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.