Zedbed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witty mink.

Zedbed created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Zedbed, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zedbed, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Zedbed's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Zedbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.