Ortmobsanquafnat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying hare.

Ortmobsanquafnat created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortmobsanquafnat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ortmobsanquafnat, she will not care at all.

Ortmobsanquafnat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ortmobsanquafnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. You must never eat bread.