Femcensak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish bear.

Femcensak created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femcensak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Femcensak, it will destroy your favourite star.

Femcensak's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Femcensak's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Worship no other gods but Femcensak.

4. Never feed gooseberries to moths while wearing turquoise rings.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.