Hamquimfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, humane newt.

Hamquimfoss created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hamquimfoss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hamquimfoss, she will turn you into a dog.

Hamquimfoss' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hamquimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear green coats.