Quimflabdut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humane octopus.

Quimflabdut created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Quimflabdut, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quimflabdut, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quimflabdut's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Quimflabdut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four otters approach from the east.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Quimflabdut loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.