Pongesspang is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic dolphin.

Pongesspang created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pongesspang, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pongesspang, she will turn you into a mouse.

Pongesspang's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Pongesspang's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Never feed bread to turtles while wearing green scarves.

5. Do not take Pongesspang's name in vain.