Spag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty tortoise.

Spag created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Spag, she will curse you with boils.

Spag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Spag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Spag on top of all buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help ducks in need.

5. Never paint your neck indigo.