Homxemtan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy squid.

Homxemtan created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Homxemtan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Homxemtan, he will turn you into a mole.

Homxemtan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Homxemtan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Homxemtan loves voles, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat apples.