Sigyarttaf Cusshattam is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish grasshopper.

Sigyarttaf Cusshattam created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigyarttaf Cusshattam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sigyarttaf Cusshattam, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sigyarttaf Cusshattam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sigyarttaf Cusshattam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Never run in the presence of moths.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.