Sascenstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, quiet hamster.

Sascenstrag created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sascenstrag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sascenstrag, he will turn you into a duck.

Sascenstrag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sascenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.