Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable centipede.

Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem, it will turn you into a goat.

Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always obey Farnnurlgud Batlidcetlog Fathadkem's priests.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.