Xucrenmet is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, dishonest lizard.

Xucrenmet created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucrenmet, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xucrenmet, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xucrenmet's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Xucrenmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of ants.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect four iron sculptures of Xucrenmet on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed lots of nuts to otters while wearing fawn dresses.