Vagveenven is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able swan.

Vagveenven created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagveenven, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagveenven, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vagveenven's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vagveenven's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near hamsters while wearing blue corsets and balancing eight zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Vagveenven on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Vagveenven must be the most important thing in your life.