Queegbastmut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omniscient penguin.

Queegbastmut created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegbastmut, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Queegbastmut, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Queegbastmut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Queegbastmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never skip in holy places.