Fenyarlanflam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying fairy.

Fenyarlanflam created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenyarlanflam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fenyarlanflam, he will make you grow a tail.

Fenyarlanflam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fenyarlanflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Fenyarlanflam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Fenyarlanflam five times a day.