Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, cheerful lobster.

Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb, it will destroy your home solar system.

Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Guntantinjarnyatbutgeb nine times a day.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never wear blue stockings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Never talk about moths.