Gemtarpon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unjust porpoise.

Gemtarpon created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtarpon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gemtarpon, it will turn you into a frog.

Gemtarpon's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gemtarpon's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Never feed grapes to eagles while wearing scarves.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never eat beans.