Nigxuckpark is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest eagle.

Nigxuckpark created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigxuckpark, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nigxuckpark, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nigxuckpark's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nigxuckpark's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed gooseberries to frogs while wearing skirts.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nigxuckpark.