Sisjamtun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awesome elephant.

Sisjamtun created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sisjamtun, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sisjamtun, she will torture you forever.

Sisjamtun's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Sisjamtun's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sisjamtun.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Sisjamtun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.