Queegvanloop Arparfshav is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty bear.

Queegvanloop Arparfshav created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegvanloop Arparfshav, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Queegvanloop Arparfshav, she will turn you into a goat.

Queegvanloop Arparfshav's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Queegvanloop Arparfshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Always help sick dogs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. You must pray to Queegvanloop Arparfshav eight times a day.