Cebtipbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless faun.

Cebtipbaf created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebtipbaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cebtipbaf, he will send you a sign.

Cebtipbaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Cebtipbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed corn to goats while wearing shoes.

5. Never go into white rooms.