Bassruttzak Gonjiphon is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic bear.

Bassruttzak Gonjiphon created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bassruttzak Gonjiphon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bassruttzak Gonjiphon, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bassruttzak Gonjiphon's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bassruttzak Gonjiphon's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not take Bassruttzak Gonjiphon's name in vain.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.