Bamrakneg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, cheerful warg.

Bamrakneg created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamrakneg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bamrakneg, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bamrakneg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bamrakneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.