Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured dolphin.

Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bifruttneg Yamhathogjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing yellow rings.

4. Hide from green mice for they are unholy.

5. Never look at galaxies.