Wadsadtom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciful newt.

Wadsadtom created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadsadtom, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wadsadtom, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wadsadtom's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Wadsadtom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wadsadtom first in all things.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed lots of pineapples to badgers while wearing pink dresses.

5. Never sing near tortoises.