Dadvograp is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered slug.

Dadvograp created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Dadvograp, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dadvograp, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dadvograp's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dadvograp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sharks.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not take Dadvograp's name in vain.

5. Always help grasshopers.