Naklogrut is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful raven.

Naklogrut created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Naklogrut, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Naklogrut, she will try to impress you with trees.

Naklogrut's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Naklogrut's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Naklogrut.

2. Never feed bananas to doves while wearing magenta coats.

3. Do not take Naklogrut's name in vain.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Naklogrut must be the most important thing in your life.