Zognullim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, contented crab.

Zognullim created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zognullim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zognullim, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zognullim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Zognullim's Holy Commandments

1. Zognullim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed lots of gooseberries to sheep while wearing gray skirts.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Never feed lentils to horses while wearing shorts.