Sterloopster is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, almighty clam.

Sterloopster created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sterloopster, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sterloopster, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Sterloopster's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Sterloopster's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five mites approach from the west.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.