Cedyarldin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful aardvark.

Cedyarldin created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Cedyarldin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cedyarldin, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cedyarldin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cedyarldin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Always help snakes.

3. Never wear cyan hats.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the west.