Zodbemtun is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish duck.

Zodbemtun created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodbemtun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zodbemtun, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zodbemtun's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Zodbemtun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zodbemtun.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed apples to nematodes while wearing magenta shorts.

5. Never talk about frogs.