Vagbetsag is a god.

She takes the form of a small, compassionate ferret.

Vagbetsag created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagbetsag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vagbetsag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vagbetsag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vagbetsag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Vagbetsag on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing purple corsets and balancing seven copper spheres on your chest.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Never eat wheat.