Panfarnlam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ruthless octopus.

Panfarnlam created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Panfarnlam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Panfarnlam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Panfarnlam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Panfarnlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs yellow.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about spacetime near rats while wearing magenta tights and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.