Fetnart is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody turtle.

Fetnart created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetnart, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fetnart, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fetnart's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fetnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fetnart's priests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Never feed aubergines to swans while wearing corsets.