Gepcapmad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful newt.

Gepcapmad created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepcapmad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepcapmad, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gepcapmad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gepcapmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to great tits while wearing ear rings.

2. Never wear mauve shorts.

3. Never paint your chest blue.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.