Farnbatgam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, irritating fish.

Farnbatgam created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnbatgam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farnbatgam, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Farnbatgam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Farnbatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Farnbatgam's name in vain.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not kill snakes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.